Why I’m “Newly Wed, Not Dead”
Since our wedding day, all I’ve heard is “How’s married life?” and “Getting ready for a little one?” I have found myself getting defensive and aggressive in my answers. It’s not that I don’t want to talk about married life. On the contrary, I LOVE gushing about my husband, our dog, and our life as a little family of three….but when I say that, their questions are followed up with, “Ah! Still in the honeymoon phase I see!” So basically, according to my friends, family, and those who love asking these types of questions, there are two stages of marriage: the honeymoon phase and the terrifying “ball-and-chain” future.
The inspiration for this blog came from the (very conscious) decision I made to not be the kind of wife that complains about her husband to any friend who will listen and, at the same time, I will not feel pressure to have a baby simply because of the band on my left ring finger. I’m not going to try to keep up with the Jones’ since there’s a 50% chance that they’ll be divorced anyway.
The thing is, I’m newly wed, but I definitely haven’t been put out to pasture living out the rest of our marriage cooking, cleaning, and probably whining about my husband. I’m not ready to get a joint email address, a minivan, and a pair of maternity jeans, just like my husband isn’t ready to retreat to his man cave and stop bringing me flowers.
I want to blog about the new chapter we’ve begin, because I couldn’t find many blogs with tips about how to be a happy, independent, and ambitious twenty-something couple. I’m not ready for mom blogs, and I’m definitely past the early-20s sites. I’m somewhere in between, and I couldn’t be happier. I’m newly wed, but my social life, my career, and my married life are so far from dead.
Awesome post. Live your life at the pace that feels most comfortable to the both of you. As I did things “backwards” and have a child before marriage, people still ask me when I’m going to have my next child. I always quickly say “slow down, I need to get my life together first”. Well, your life is together and you need to tell everyone that you would like to enjoy being just married because many people do not experience that.
Thanks, Erica! It’s so true. We worked really hard to get our life together, but we still don’t know exactly what we want, so why would we rush into the next thing? The mortgage and student loans are enough for now… And nobody should be asking you when you’re going to have another baby. You already have a beautiful family and it’s none of their business! Anyway, thank you so much for commenting. It means a lot to get such positive feedback. I hope you keep reading and enjoy the next posts 🙂